Confirmation day has arrived! I am now considered an “adult” in the church. What does being an “adult in the church” mean? What changes? What do I do now? These are some of the questions I hear from confirmands as they prepare to be confirmed. I am not even sure the phrase “being an adult in the church” is still official or commonly used, but inevitably, someone says it, and it causes questions in the confirmands mind. However, those questions often remain unanswered or answered along the lines of “Well, you are not actually an adult, so not much changes.” How devastating to a young person!
When children turn the age of legal adulthood, many things change. New expectations are set as they prepare to become financially independent and leave their parent’s house post graduation. Males are expected to register with the Selective Service, and males and females are eligible to vote.
We need to be just as clear with confirmands. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:11 that people change as they mature. Confirmands need to be aware of new expectations and new responsibilities, or they will begin to think that nothing has changed. There are limitations we must work under (i.e. many cannot vote due to church constitutions and bylaws). However, with confirmation should come responsibility, expectations, and recognition that were not present before being confirmed.
New responsibilities can be varied depending on a church’s context and structure. The critical part of the responsibilities is that they are available, and the confirmands know about them. In some churches, roles may be available to confirmed members, such as “junior” positions on some boards and committees where youth can attend and speak but do not have full privileges like voting.
Jobs that confirmands assisted in should allow increased independence. For example, if confirmands are paired with an adult to serve as ushers, they should be able to pair with another post-confirmation youth or even a confirmation student they can now train to serve. These new responsibilities show that church members rely on post-confirmation youth to serve. Explain new responsibilities before confirmation ends and again shortly after, if needed.
Expectations should also increase for those who are confirmed. Remember, we hope these young people become church leaders and eager contributors. Some expectations may surround attendance at church services and functions. Many times, there are requirements for confirmation students that disappear when confirmation ends. Disappearing requirements may inadvertently send the message that attendance is no longer valuable.
People tend to rise to expectations. I recently heard a pastor explain that if there is an attendance standard, such as required attendance at 75% of worship services during confirmation, you can expect a 75% attendance rate. However, if you state attendance is expected, with no specified rate, attendance will generally be closer to 100%.
Confirmands are usually not old enough to drive and may need help getting to events, so communicating the importance of attendance in worship both to them and their parents. Other rising expectations may include bringing their own covered dish to potlucks or volunteering in the same ways expected of adults. Regardless of the content of the expectations, be sure to set them and communicate them clearly.
Finally, recognition as an individual is essential to youth as they develop. Children and teens tend to be treated as a group. For example, the children may be asked to hang bows on a Christmas tree during a particular service, or a middle school class may be asked to serve drinks during a church dinner. After confirmation, church leaders should be transitioning into treating adolescents as individuals.
Rather than treat them as a group, recognize and help them explore their unique gifts and interests. What is each good at doing? Are they better or feel more comfortable working in the nursery, teaching younger children, attending board meetings, or doing/learning building maintenance? If these talents and interests were not explored during confirmation, they should be now. A rotation through various jobs is an excellent way to help unsure youth explore options. As their identity naturally develops, help adolescents establish their identity as Christians and valuable church members.
Some pastors stress to confirmands that “confirmation is not a graduation from church” because so many youths decrease or stop attending services after they are confirmed. However, think about graduation from high school or college. Graduation does not mean graduation from all responsibilities and expectations. Instead, it is an achievement of knowledge that comes with increased responsibilities and expectations. It also comes with a higher level of individuality or various paths forward.
In this way, confirmation should serve as a kind of graduation. It should be a transition from childhood in the church to being an adult in the church. Strive to help confirmands live out Hebrews 10:25 and become a part of a community where they are encouraged and encourage others in their faith rather than giving up meeting together.
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